Thursday, January 22, 2009

Application for the WCHA

INCH had a pretty cool article about joining the WCHA, coming off the heels of the league officials deciding to lift the moratorium on expansion. If I get the time this week I'm going to have to fill this thing out, it's pretty funny and pretty true.

Application for Admission to the WCHA

1. Which answer best describes the current status of your program?
a) Our program has a decades-long tradition of hockey dating back to the post-War era and has won numerous national championships in other classifications.
b) Our school has added hockey within the past two decades, but has established a competitive program.
c) Our institution is new to Division I hockey, but we have an emerging program in a hockey-mad market.
d) We got uniforms and everything.

2. What is the capacity of your home arena?
a) Larger than 15,000
b) 8,000 - 14,999
c) Less than 8,000
d) The state won't build us one until we get in your league.

3. The playing surface at your home venue is ____:
a) Slightly smaller than Lake Superior
b) 200' x 85'
c) The DECC
d) Outdoors

4. Choose which best describes your non-conference scheduling policy.
a) We will host a holiday tournament and invite last-place teams from other leagues.
b) We are locked in to long-standing rivalries against regional and traditional opponents such as Alabama-Huntsville and Robert Morris.
c) Anyone. Anywhere.
d) All of our non-league games will be played at home.

5. Regional cable sports networks broadcast ____:
a) All of our games (home and road).
b) Some of the better matchups we play.
c) Our games against Denver, Wisconsin and Minnesota.
d) None of our games. We don't have cable in this part of the state.

6. We will attract top-notch recruits by:
a) Reducing our academic standards.
b) Wowing them with our extravagant home arena.
c) Targeting players born prior to 1987.
d) Paying better than our competitors.

7. If the WCHA expands to 12 teams, it is possible to grow the league tournament to include an additional first-round series and an added quarterfinal game in St. Paul. With that in mind, how would you like to receive your share of the league tournament proceeds?
a) Deposited directly into our athletic budget.
b) Sent via certified check to our assistant A.D. for finance.
c) Keep it to pay down our expansion fees.
d) In a big burlap sack with a dollar sign on it.

8. Where do you see your hockey program in 20 years?
a) Competing on the same level as traditional powers like Minnesota and North Dakota.
b) Rising to prominence over a period of years like Miami.
c) Making a sudden splash on the national scene like Notre Dame.
d) Not losing in the first round of the NCAA tournament every year like St. Cloud State.

ESSAY QUESTION NO. 1: A college hockey media member based in Chicago has recently written a piece praising Boston University, Notre Dame, and Denver. The following week, the same writer issues a piece stating that Boston College, Michigan, and Colorado College are overrated. Is the writer biased toward Eastern or Western Conferences/schools? Explain.

ESSAY QUESTION NO. 2: The WCHA is the nation's pre-eminent college hockey conference, but its members do not win the national championship every season. Please concoct a list of reasons a WCHA school didn't win the national championship despite its obvious superiority.

Choose TRUE or TRUE for the following statement:
Zach Parise and Phil Kessel are the two most important athletes in hockey history.